The next day after the confrontations with my mom and Kate, I sigh to myself as I sit on the front porch, smoking a cigarette. It's not weed but it will help my nerves I have found out. I would be inside, but Kate has again dropped her kids off and I know being around them will just cause too much problems. Problems I'm not sure if I am ready to unearth.
Looking up as I hear a car pull in the driveway, I raise my eyebrow, taking another drag off the cigarette as I watch Carrick step out of the car. I smile instantly as he walks to the porch. "I didn't know anyone had let you know about Zac's upcoming memorial service," I tell him knowing Kate didn't want the media alerted. She didn't want fans showing up or creeping around it.
Carrick sits down beside me, "Taylor called me," he nods as he chews on his lip. "How are you handling things?" he asks as he pats my leg and takes the cigarette from my hand before taking a drag himself.
I just glare at him playfully and sigh, "I am taking things like crap," I shrug. "I miss Zac more every day and I just want to wake up and be told this is some sick and twisted nightmare," I mutter as I feel tears stinging my eyes. "I want the love of my life to still be here for me and not being turned into ashes."
I see Carrick frown at my words and he hands the cigarette back. "I just wish I knew why he did it," he states and I nod my head, though I know I have good suspicions on why he did it. "You know," Carrick says as he looks me over. "The last time I saw you was in September of 2010. You were heavily pregnant," he muses as he raises an eyebrow. "Where is the baby you made with Zac? I want to meet that little darlin."
"Little darlin?" I ask when he refers to the thing that everyone else has been avoiding since I came back. The baby that Zac and I had together.
Carrick nods, "I remember you telling me it was a girl."
I nod too remembering I had told him I was having a girl. "I gave her up," I tell him as I chew on my bottom lip. "I gave her up three days after she was born. The day we left the hospital was my last day with her."
"Oh," Carrick whispers as he looks away from me. "I didn't know you were considering adoption. I mean you and Zac talked like you were going to raise her together, especially since all the tests had came back proving she was a healthy baby."
At his words, I feel tears go down my cheeks, "We were," I whisper back not caring that I am crying. "But Kate happened," I sigh as I stand up and go inside. I can't take this conversation with Carrick right now. I just can't do it.
Going upstairs to my room, I lay on the bed and close my eyes, hoping that sleep will take me. Right now I just need sleep. I need to forget memories that Carrick has brought up for me.
Right as I get my eyes shut though, there is a loud scream, followed by crying, crying I would know anywhere. Moving from my bed, I run out of my room to where the crying is which is the play room next door. Standing in the door of the play room, I see Junia on the ground, blood coming from her head.
"What happened?" I ask Shepherd who is now bending down beside his sister. I walk over and bend down beside Junia as well.
"She was trying to climb up the book case," Shepherd informs me as he points to the book case beside him. "She lost her balance and fell."
I frown and pick her up, "I'm going to take you to the hospital Junebug," I mutter to her as I stand up. "We need to make sure nothing is broken or that you don't have a concussion," I frown looking at her bleeding head.
Getting to the door, I walk out and head to the stairs, stopping when I come face to face with my mother and Carrick.
"Junia needs to go to the hospital," I inform them, going down the stairs. "I'm taking her and Kate can kiss my ass later," I grunt out as I make it to the bottom of the stairs. Going to the key ring rack, I grab the keys for my moms SUV and head outside.
Walking to her car, I hear foot steps behind me and when I stop to open the back door to put Junia in her car seat, I come face to face with my mom again.
My mom sighs as she looks me in the eye, "You know Kate is going to be pissed about this," she states and I shrug in return before putting Junia in her car seat. "She has direct orders not to have you around the kids. Not to have you around Junia."
I shut the door once Junia is in her car seat and I glare at my mother. "Screw her orders. Junia is hurt and I'm taking her to the hospital," I spit out before turning my back to her and getting in the car. Buckling up, I start the car and drive off. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ A few hours later, I sit in the emergency room and watch as Junia sleeps. She has been given a sedative. They had to give it to her before stitching her head up. She had been to agitated. Hearing the door of the room open, I look up and see Carrick walk in the room.
"Did my mom send you?" I ask knowing it was something she would do to avoid drama with me.
Carrick nods his head, "Yeah, she did," he says as he sits down on the edge of Junia's bed. "so, what is Kate going to have to kiss your ass later for?" he asks as he raises an eyebrow.
I look away from him and sigh, "The fact that I brought Junia to the hospital," I say before biting my lip. "She doesn't want me alone with the kids, especially not Junebug," I frown as I shake my head and feel tears in my eyes after that.
"Why?" Carrick asks so soft that I'm not even sure he said anything at all.
I look back at him and take a deep breath, "Because, Junia is my daughter. The baby I was pregnant with in 2010," I say surprised Zac never told him.
Carrick just looks at me with his mouth hanging open and I almost want to laugh, almost. It's funny but then again not. I hate the fact that because of Kate I can't claim my daughter, even though legally there were no papers signed. I still have my parental rights to Junia in tact and if I wanted too I could take her away from Kate in a heartbeat.
"I know, it's shocking isn't it," I say as I move from the chair and get into bed with Junia. "This precious little girl who has been raised by Kate for two years is mine." Looking down at her I smile and kiss her forehead, the side that doesn't have stitches. She is the best thing I have from my time with Zac. The best thing he ever gave me.