I roll my eyes as I sit on the back deck at my parents house. The one that leads to the pool. It's where my parents are hosting Zac's wedding party as he is getting married tomorrow. He is marrying that friend of Natalie's that none of us have liked since we met her, or maybe that is just me.
As I look over at Zac talking to her and a group of their friends, I just roll my eyes again and stand from the table where I am sitting at. I'm not sure I can do anymore of this putting up a fake happy face when I know my brother is making a huge mistake in marrying Kate.
Brushing past Zac as I walk back to the house, I don't even look back, soon getting inside and slipping off the sandals I had been wearing. Leaving them laying by the back door I head upstairs to my room, deciding to take the set of steps that is in the kitchen. I am kind of happy that everyone seems to be outside. I really don't want to have to lie to anyone about why I came inside and ditched the party early.
When I am in my room, I walk to the bed and sit down, grabbing my sketchbook and a pencil off the floor. Flipping through until I get to a blank page, I start to sketch not even paying attention to anything else. As I sketch I soon hear a knock at my bedroom door and I look away from the book, chewing on my lip as my brown eyes connect with his own.
"Zac," I say as I lay the sketchbook down beside me on the bed. "I..shouldn't you be outside at your party?" I ask as I raise my eyebrow.
Zac just laughs as he leans against my door frame, crossing his arms. I know it's wrong but at my tender age of fifteen, I find him really attractive. I know it goes against every teaching I have heard my whole life thanks to my ultra christian, conservative parents but for the past year I have been questioning everything they ever installed in me.
"Shouldn't you be at the party as well?" he asks me as he keeps his eyes locked on mine. I'm not sure why but it unnerves me.
I shrug and tear my eyes away from his, "I just wasn't having fun," I say honestly as look down at my carpeted floor. I decide it's better than looking in Zac's eyes right now. I hate that my own brother has been giving me butterflies and I hate that I have no control over this silly crush on him.
I hear him step inside my room a little farther but I refuse to look up at him. "How come you weren't having fun Avie?" he asks sounding confused. I don't blame him for sounding confused. It's not like anyone else knows I dislike Kate.
I just shrug again and keep looking at the floor, "I'm not sure," I lie. It's a pathetic lie but it's all I can come up with right now.
"You don't have to lie to me," Zac says his voice sounding much closer to me then before.
I soon find out why it sounds so close as he sits down next to me on the bed. Finally looking away from the carpet I look at him wondering if I could tell him the truth. If I could tell him that I left because I think the wedding tomorrow is one huge mistake.
Chewing my lip I know I will tell him. I have always told him everything. "I think you are making a mistake by marrying Kate," I tell him as I look at him nervously, scared of his reaction. "I don't think she is the one for you."
Zac looks at me like his utterly surprised by what I had to say. Of course he is, I have always played nice around Kate. I'm too nice to ever be mean to anyone. "Why do you think that?" he asks as he chews on his bottom lip. Again his eyes lock with mine.
Feeling those familiar butterflies again in my stomach, I try my best to ignore them, "Because she is a bitch," I mutter letting a curse word fly from my mouth. I normally try not to cuss, especially in front of my parents.
"Wow," Zac says after I call Kate a bitch. "You really think she is a bitch?" he asks as he raises an eyebrow at me, questioning what I just said.
I nod, "I don't just think it. She is a bitch," I say matter of fact. "She is constantly downing you about things, like your weight. She can be so cruel and vicious to you," I frown. "And she has dumped you numerous times. I just think you should marry someone else Zac."
Zac stays silent for the longest time after I speak. When I hear him clear his throat though, I know he is about to talk again, "Who do you think I should marry then Avery?" he asks me as he licks his lips.
"How about that cute redhead you dated the last time you and Kate broke up?" I ask trying to remember the girls name. Now she was someone I could see Zac marrying one day.
He laughs some at my mention of her, "Spencer?"
"Yeah, Spencer," I tell him as I cross my arms. "Get back together with her and marry her. Now she would be right for you."
He laughs again and shakes his head, "Kind of hard to marry someone who moved away to Nashville. Anyway, last I heard she was dating some dude who looked like Ryan Gosling."
I just look down and sigh, "You could go after her," I suggest as I chew my lip. Besides her I am trying to think of someone, anyone else that Zac could marry besides Kate. I don't want my brother to ruin his life. I can't let him do that.
"I don't want to go after her Avie," he says and I look back up at him and roll my eyes. "No one else wants me," he says before looking away now. "You think I want to actually marry her?" he asks me, now letting out a bitter laugh. "No one else wants me but her. I'm not good enough for anyone else so I'm choosing the easy option Avery and I do love her, just not like I should, but maybe one day. You'll understand one day what I mean Avery, when you are old enough to be in love."
Frowning at his words I sigh, "I want you," I blurted out without even thinking. "I'll want you and I'll take you if no one else will."
Zac looks at me again and laughs as if he thinks I am joking, "Funny joke Avie," he says as stands from the bed, soon turning to walk away.
As he does so, I stand from the bed as well and go after him, grabbing his arm I turn him around and pull him into a kiss to prove that I'm not joking. I know the kiss is wrong and right now I am desperate but oh well. What's the harm it could do to anyone?
Feeling Zac respond to the kiss briefly before pulling away and looking at me as if I have lost my mind, I am really scared now. Maybe I have done harm by kissing him.
"The hell Avery," he spits out as his eyes widen and he just shakes his head. "That was probably the most disgusting thing you could have done," he says before glaring at me. "You're my sister and whatever sick fantasies or joke this is needs to stop," he says his voice raising some before he turns away again and heads out of the room.
I just stand there as he leaves and my attention is brought to the door again as Jessica now stands there confused.
"Why the heck did he leave out of here like a bat out of hell?" she asks as she looks at me for an answer.
I shrug and sit back down on my bed, "I have no clue," I lie before picking up my sketchbook and starting to work on the sketch I had been doing before Zac even came up here. After Zac's reaction to that kiss I am now officially scared to even face him at his wedding tomorrow. I am afraid to do my duty as one of Kate's bridesmaids.
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