The next two days seem to fly by with Zac there and before I know it Christmas is here and I'm sitting in some house surrounded by Carrick's friends. It's not that I don't like his friends but most of them are just too hipster to me and I'm not into the hipster crowd at all, never have been. Now Taylor on the other hand would fit in well.
Seeing Carrick, talking to a few of his friends, I stand from the chair I am sitting in and walk outside. It's cold but not too cold that I need a coat. Reaching in my pants pocket, I take out my cellphone and dial Zac's number. He opted not to come to this Christmas get together and I'm hoping he will come and save me from my boyfriend's friends.
"Hello," Zac's voice fills the other end after just two rings which surprises me. Usually it takes him three to four rings to answer the phone.
I chew on my lip, quickly before answering him. "Zac," I start off, deciding he knows it's me, there is no use in stating who I am calling. "I need you to come and get me from this party," I sigh as I roll my eyes, though he can't see me. "I'm being overcrowded by too many hipsters."
Zac laughs at my last comment, of course he would. "Where is said party at Avie?"
After Zac asks where the party is, I rattle off the address and he mutters something about putting it in his GPS and he will be there shortly to come and get me. Hearing the phone go dead, I hang up as well and put my cell phone back in my pocket before sitting down on the stairs and waiting for Zac to get to the house and come and save me.
Hearing the door open, I turn my head and look up to see Carrick coming outside.
"There you are," Carrick smiles as he sits down next to me on the porch. "I was beginning to think you left," he whispers as he leans in to peck my lips.
I peck his lips and force a smile, "About the leaving thing," I laugh as I look away from him. "I may have called Zac to come and get me," I tell him afraid that he will be mad at me for bailing. He is always telling me I really should give his friends a chance.
"Oh," Carrick mutters as he looks away from. "I should have known you would bail before things really picked up," he shrugs as he runs a hand through his hair. "Can I give you my gift before you go?" he asks when he looks back at me.
I just nod my head and watch as Carrick reaches into his pocket, taking out a small tiny box which makes my heart beat faster. Staying silent as he opens the box to reveal a tiny diamond ring, I feel my mouth drop open having not expected this. I did not think he would propose to me and to be honest even in this moment I'm not sure I will accept it, not when my heart is with Zac.
"Avery, you know I love you, I love you so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he says as he smiles at me and I feel sick. "Will you do me the honor of maybe, spending the rest of your life with me too?" he asks me right as I hear a car pull in the drive way of the house.
I chew on my lip, feeling as if time has stopped now that he has asked me to marry him. "I....yes," I say before I can even stop myself.
Carrick grins and soon slips the ring on my finger. "She said yes," he says as he looks ahead of him before standing up. I too follow his path and see that Zac is standing just inches from the stairs. His face god, I hate myself for all the hurt I can see.
"Congratulations Carrick," Zac smiles and nods, "I told you she would say yes."
I raise an eyebrow as I stand up as well. Zac knew that Carrick was going to propose to me. Zac knew it and hid it. God how can he do this to himself? How can he just put me being happy over his own happiness? How can he want me to be happy with another man?
"That you did," Carrick agrees. "You can take my future wife home now," he says as he turns to head inside. "I feel like going inside to party and celebrate."
After Carrick leaves, I walk off the steps and past Zac, heading to his car, "You knew?" I ask him when I reach his passenger side door and watch as he makes it to the driver's side.
Zac just nods his head and gets in. I roll my eyes and get in as well. "I wish you had told me," I tell him as I buckle up and lean against the seat as he starts the car and drives away, heading back to Carrick's house.
"Why?" Zac asks finally speaking to me. "So you could be prepared to say no?"
I roll my eyes again, "I never said I would have said no had I known," I tell him but we both know I am lying right now. If I had known, I probably would have said no to Carrick tonight. "I just...I don't see why you want this for me Zac," I sigh feeling tears stinging at my eyes. "I'm not happy with Carrick. I'm not happy that I said yes tonight. I will never be happy because he isn't you and I hate that you are pushing me away," I snap a bit too harsh.
I hear Zac sigh and I turn to look at him finally. His eyes are still on the road.
"Avie," he sighs again and finally looks at me briefly. "You know we could never be together. Not publicly anyway and you don't deserve to be anyone's secret."
I shake my head and feel the tears go down my cheek, "But I'd be your secret if I had too."
Feeling the car come to a stop, I realize we are back at Carrick's and I get out, just wanting to get inside. Finding my key in my pocket, I unlock the door and turn the light on before heading to the room I share with Carrick. Making it there I sit on the bed and just cry. I hate what my life has come to right now. I hate how confusing things are and have been since this all started with Zac. I hate how much I love him.
I feel the bed sink down beside me and I look over and see Zac beside me. He pulls me into him and I just cry more. "I want you Zac," I say as I rest my head on his neck.
"I want you too Avery," Zac tells me and I move my head from his neck, raising an eyebrow. "I....fuck, it's hard to watch you be with Carrick but I thought, I thought I was giving you what you needed. I was also avoiding you like Taylor told me to do after he caught us a second time. But now, I can't do this anymore if you aren't happy."
At his words, I smile some and reach my hand up, wiping my tears away. "I'm not happy," I say as I shake my head.
Zac just nods and before I know it he is leaning his head closer to mine, until his lips capture my lips in a kiss. A kiss that is full of need and longing. He wants me and he knows now he can have me.
Kissing him back, I let my hand go rest on his cheek and I move closer to him. It's been so long since he has kissed me like this and I missed it. I missed him. As we continue to kiss, I let myself slowly maneuver into his lap and smirk when his arms go around me.
"I want you Zac," I whisper before pulling away and reaching down to unbutton the shirt he has on. He doesn't stop as I unbutton the shirt and he doesn't stop me as I slip it off of him either. Once it's gone I run my hands down his chest again and frown when he sucks his stomach in again. "You are perfect, no matter what Kate says," I tell him before kissing him again.
As he kisses me back, his hands slid up and under my shirt and I shiver some because they are cold on my hot back. I half wonder if his hands were this cold last time and I just didn't realize it.
Zac pulls away after awhile and I watch as he starts to push my shirt up, so I raise my hands, helping him remove it from me. A smirk crosses his face as he sees I am not wearing a bra. "You're so freaking naughty," he mutters before leaning in and taking one of my breast into his mouth much like he did the first time we got intimate together several years back.
"Zac," I whimper as I feel myself getting turned on. In response to that, Zac just keeps sucking on my breast, even slower than before. "Fuck you are good with your mouth."
Zac moves his mouth off my breast and looks up at me, "I've had years of practice," he shrugs before putting his mouth around my other breast which causes me to whimper again. He is trying to kill me, I'm sure of that.
Biting down on my lip, I feel my hips move into his and I'm not shocked to see he is hard. "You are hard as hard as a rock," I state though I'm sure he knows this already.
This time he moves his mouth from my breasts and laughs, "You are stating what I know Avie," he says as he grabs my hands and puts them between us. "How about helping me out of my jeans and you can do something about what you caused."
I just smirk and undo his jeans, pushing him back after they are undone. Kissing him again, I slid them off along with his help.
As we kiss, he turns us over so he is on top and I feel him reach down, undoing my jeans and pushing them off with my panties. They both soon join the floor which is now cluttered with our clothing. "I love you," he whispers before I feel him move his arms and I move away just briefly to see his boxers get thrown on the floor.
Once he is nude I look up at him and bit my lip, "I want to make love to you," I tell him right before he lets his lips move to my neck which he starts to kiss ever so light. He soon enters inside of me and I close my eyes, letting my nails dig into his back. I know having sex in Carrick's bed is wrong but I make no effort to stop what is already happening.
Instead I just close my eyes tighter and enjoy the pace that Zac soon makes for himself, feeling my hips soon matching his movements until I reach my peak around the same time he does.
After he is done, he just lays his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes. I'm about to say something but I hear him snoring and I know he has gone to sleep. Shaking my head, I close my eyes and try to join him in sleep. I just hope we don't get caught by Carrick like this, naked in his bed, tangled together.