Looking at Taylor as he drives us back from the diner I chew on my lip, "Do you regret what happened in the shower?" I ask him softly not even sure if he will hear my words.
Taylor looks at me, his blue eyes locking with my brown ones, "I may regret the first time we had sex a few months ago but I don't regret what we did today Avery."
After he speaks I go silent again. I am shocked by his words. I never expected him to say that he didn't regret it because I thought he would, even if he was doing it to show me I could survive with out Zac. I just figured he would remember he has a wife and kids at home. That he can't just have sex with his sister or any other woman like that.
Seeing him arrive at the cabin I unbuckle as he comes to a stop. Still staying silent I get out of the car, following him back inside. "I don't regret it either," I finally speak once he has shut the front door. "Even if it did make Carrick jealous like you think."
Taylor smiles at me moving closer which gives me butterflies, "You have nothing to regret Ave," he tells me as his hands cup my chin. "I mean last I checked incest isn't new to you nor is Carrick your boyfriend."
"You're married," I remind him knowing I should regret sleeping with another married man. "I should regret sleeping with you at least for that."
"You've been with married men before," he whispers before putting his lips against mine again. This time the kiss isn't unexpected nor am I actually wanting or entertaining thoughts of pushing him away from me.
Kissing him back I slowly back us over to the couch. I know where this is going and I am not going to stop it. I need this again, I need sex with him again. The shower sex with him made me feel alive it seemed, he made me feel alive.
"I need you Taylor," I mutter into his mouth as we fall onto the couch, his hand instantly finding it's way under my shirt the minute we do.
He doesn't say anything, he just keeps kissing me, his lips moving down to my neck and his hand going farther up my shirt. His touch is almost like fire to my body. It's bringing me to life. Something I haven't felt since Zac died.
Pulling away from the kiss, I toss my shirt to the floor before bringing Taylor in for another kiss a moan coming out of me as his hands run across my bra his index finger and thumb slowly pulling on my nipple through the material of the bra.
"Taylor," I whimper out as he continues to tease me. "Just take me already," I snap out harshly as I pull away to look into his eyes. My words seems to open up something in him. Something raw and unknown to me. It almost scares me while turning me on at the same time.
Without saying anything Taylor moves away from me, "Turn over," he finally speaks his voice ragged. It's a tone he has never used with me but I obey him anyway, turning over for him.
Once I have done that I feel his weight on me, his lips going to my neck as his find their way beneath my waist. I let out a tiny moan when I feel his hands undoing my jeans but a whimper soon replaces that when Taylor moves away again. Is he trying to deliberately tease me and be an ass.
"Get on all fours Avery," Taylor tells me another command, one in which I follow. "Pull your pants down."
Biting my lip I reach down pushing my pants and panties down. As I do I hear Taylor's zipper being undone and I know he is going to do what I asked him. He is going to take me.
Feeling him over me again I close my eyes as his cock slowly rubs against my entrance. I'm glad that he is taking me there and not the other way he could take me. Zac tried that a few times. I never really liked it.
"Fuck," I moan out when he finally enters inside me. This time he isn't as gentle as he was in the shower but it still feels so good. It still makes me feel alive. When he starts to move inside of me I bit down on my lip again as my nails dig into the couch cushion.
Taylor's hands soon come to rest on my hips, his thrusts inside of me staying fast and harder which causes me to moan at almost every one of them. I don't think Zac or Carrick was ever this animalistic when it came to fucking but I could see how it fits Taylor.
"Is this what you wanted Avery?" he asks me as his nails dig into the flesh of my hips. I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not. Is it wrong that I think it was? "Is this how you wanted me to take you?" he asks before moving one of his hands off of my waist.
Feeling the hand go around me I shiver as it comes between my legs. "It is how I wanted you to take me," I answer him right before his index finger slips inside of me. The moment it connects with my clit I close my eyes tighter. Taylor has definitely had tons of practice on how to fuck a woman.
Before I know it I feel my orgasm coming on and I scream out Taylor's name at the same time he releases inside of me. Collapsing against the couch I open my eyes feeling Taylor move out of me.
I'm not even sure if I can move but I try too. I slowly turn over on my back adjusting my pants and panties before zipping my jeans back up. "Fuck," I mutter not sure what else to say about what has just happened.
Taylor who has also finished fixing his pants again looks at me as he sits down on the couch, "We should head back home tomorrow," he tells me as he looks straight ahead. "No one is too know what happened here at the cabin," he informs me. "I did it for you and that is it."
Going silent I nod to let him know I understand but a part of me doesn't. Before this time he seemed so gentle and sweet. Now he is closed off and reserved almost like a robot. Did what just happen this time change him?
"I'll sleep in the bedroom," I mutter as I stand up from the couch. "I'm sure you can handle the couch for the night," I tell him my voice going as cold as he is now acting towards me.
Without another word I head to the bedroom, shutting and locking the door when I get there. Going to the bed I lay down but don't cover up. Instead I bring my knees to me and cry. Of course Taylor was just using me because no one will ever love me, at least not the way Zac did. No one but Carrick.
Closing my eyes I wipe my tears away. When we get home tomorrow I will make a mental note to go by Carrick's hotel. Apologize for today and then try to get back in his good graces. I can't let our friendship be ruined because he may be jealous over an asshole like Taylor. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The next day I follow Taylor all the way back into Tulsa, though instead of going to his house I drive back to my parents house. Parking the car in the drive way I get out watching as my mom comes running over to me.
"Avery Laurel Hanson," she sighs as she pulls me into a hug, holding me to her tightly. "I was so worried about you," she mutters. As she hugs me I feel her body shudder and it's then I realize she is crying. "I was scared I had lost another child."
Frowning I hug my mom back, "You didn't lose me, I just, I knew where to find Taylor. It took awhile but I finally convinced him to come back," I lie to her as she pulls away, looking me over. I know I shouldn't but I feel scared she will be able to look at me and see that I fucked Taylor. That I allowed him to use me not once but twice.
My mom smiles but I can tell it is forced, "Don't ever do that again, disappear like that and not call," she mutters before wiping at her eyes. "Kate left you something while you were gone, actually she ran it by Carrick. It's in your bedroom."
I nod watching as my mom walks inside. I'm sad that Zac's death has now made my mother so scared she has lost a child when she doesn't hear from them after just a day. I'm also shocked at her telling me that Kate had Carrick run something over to the house. I'm guessing whatever it is, is maybe what Zac talked about in the letter.
Hell maybe Kate isn't that much of a bitch after all or maybe she has just let me have that as a bargain for me letting her keep Junia which I still haven't decided on. I'm still not sure what I want to do about Junia.
Taking out my cell phone I walk to the porch, dialing Carrick's number as I do. When I put the phone to my ear after hitting to call him, I raise an eyebrow when I hear part of First Class playing not far from where I am standing.
Turning I look towards the door seeing Carrick standing there. I hadn't expected him to be here not after yesterday.
"Your mom asked me to stay for dinner after I brought by the thing Kate wanted me too," Carrick shrugs as he looks away from me. "I can never turn your mom's cooking down."
I laugh moving the phone away from my ear, "I was just calling to see if we could meet somewhere," I tell him as I stop the call, putting my phone back in my pocket. "I wanted to apologize for what you saw yesterday. It was stupid of me. I made a mistake like I always do."
Carrick looks at me before he steps out onto the porch, "I'm sorry," he whispers pulling me into a hug.
Hugging him back I break down in tears. Maybe I could try to love Carrick again. Maybe I could do what Taylor says and live, let myself be with Carrick.
"Where is Piper?" I ask remembering his girlfriend from the hotel.
"She left me," Carrick mutters as he pulls away. "She seems to think I still love you."
Feeling him wipe my tears away I close my eyes at his touch, "Do you still love me?" I ask him wanting to know if Piper and Taylor are both right.
When he doesn't answer me right away I open my eyes, raising an eyebrow. I want an answer from him but I think his silence is answer enough. He does still love me.
"I do," Carrick finally confirms his face falling. "I still love you Avery."
Swallowing hard I run a hand through my hair. I know what I am going to do now. What I have to do. "After Zac's memorial service will you help me get Junia back? W..we can raise her together and try to..try to be a couple again," I smile. Maybe I can fake it til I make it with him. At least I hope I can.
Seeing the grin on Carrick's face I know he won't object which makes me happy. "Of course I will Avie," he nods before pulling me into another hug.
I hug him back as I close my eyes again. He'll never have to know that right now I don't love him. That I'm just settling for him. I mean he is good enough for me and I have seen him with Junia so I know he would love her as much as he loves me. Carrick is the right man to help me try to move on. It should have been him in the shower and not Taylor. It should have been him on the couch that I wanted to take me, not Taylor.